Mojo

So I was there, gluing the grip of my 4wt when it occurred to me that something should be done in order to sprinkle some magic on that wand. Being out of unicorn hairs, phoenix feathers and dragonheart fibers, I thought I may use the old tricks of 16th century witchcraft, with a drop of voodoo and a measure of Indian soteriology.

The original recipe I got from the Worried Shrimp (actually I am a little worried about this guy, a cool rod builder who stopped abruptly to post after suggesting that a former US president was possibly mentally deficient — not quite the the news, I know, but maybe he’s been Guantanamoed for that, or subjected to some other kind of brilliant patriotism-inspired lunacy).

Anyway. Lacking magical shrimps also, I thought I would ask to two of the significant ladies in my life to contribute some magical  fluid magnets I could incorporate to the rod. Ilham, my younger daughter, made this work of art:

Kawai. That’ s the word you are looking for.

Then I turned to the powers that be, i.e. my super fantastic wife, and asked her if she knew some kind of Indian prayer to the fishing gods. Unfortunately, the Jaïns she’s a specialist of are so vegan that in comparison, your usual macrobiotic carrot eater from SF looks like a drunk redneck eating a triple cheeseburger in a tub of bacon grease. Fat chance they’re going to undertake such endeavors as thrusting a hook through a fish’s lips. And if it weren’t enough, pray the gods to assist…

Being as resourceful as she is beautiful — she found a nice little sūtra for Brahmā about the unpleasantness of teaching to a recalcitrant pupil that will apply to many situation this rod will be involved in.

Hundreds of fishes, I will endure it. A nice prayer for a rod.

Then for good measure, better karma and overall glamour, she calligraphed it in devanāgarī. Being much pleased with my lucky charms, I proceeded to stuff my rod with them.

In goes the supernatural device.

Thoroughly glue the reel seat cap. and voilà, the voodoo machine is operational. Designed for optimal contact between the karma particles and the blank’s graphite, the resin of which is especially formulated in order to enhance mojo-inductance and magickal harmonics transfer, the WitchCraft Industries Juicy Wand 490 ™ is your ticket for unnaturally good fishing. Available in any decent flyshop on Diagon Alley, for 145 galleons, 12 sickles and a knut.

Now take that, Big Buck rods company. I match you for awesomeness any day, but for mojo wielding sticks? Ha!

Rod building, one; spending a thousand at the tackle store, zero.

Just waving and wiggling that rod to get a peek at its action, I sense massive amounts of fishing fluids flowing around. There’s some serious ass kicking on its way.

6 thoughts on “Mojo

  1. “Mon Dieu, faîtes que je prenne des poissons si grands, qu’il me soit à tout jamais enlevé l’envie de mentir en les décrivant.”
    Cool non ? C’est demander pour une raison honnête …

    • cool, oui. Ça a donné son titre à “Des poissons si grands” de Clostermann, un bouquin que je cherche partout et que je ne trouve pas à moins d’une fortune. Si tu tombes dessus dans une bibliothèque, n’hésite pas à le prendre, je le photocopierai. ^_^

  2. I usually just rub some fish slime on my rods for good luck, but if your personal hoodoo works out I may have to start smudging my rods with sage and blessing them with eagle feathers… Or does that kind of thing only work with rods you build yourself?😉

    • of course esoteric practices such as fishing charms only work on hand made stuff. that’s because of all the magical finger grease you put on the threads you wrap and the grip you ream, the guides you align and the blank you spine. and the hocus pocus must come from inside.
      inside the blank I mean.

      anyway, if feathers don’t help, they can’t hurt either do they?

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